It feels so strange to be posting here again after an absence of several years.

But not much has really changed. I wish many things had changed. Many times, I wish I had forgotten this experiment and had a chance at a "normal life." I'll be turning 30 soon (not THAT soon, but it's coming)-- and what has changed? I am living in another continent now. I have more responsibilities than I have ever had. But I'm still the same old me.  I wish  I were a better sinner, which is to say, worse, and I am at a point where I wish I had never taken my Catholicism so seriously. My depression has never been worse, and my lust, too.

I had another blog, which I just deleted less than 15 minutes ago, which I ran for 6 years-- initially conceived as a side project to this one, but which gradually took over until this one was left in the dust. I have never met a more hypocritical bunch of Catholics as I have through that blog. I'm glad to be rid of it.

Ten years I've been blogging-- that is almost a third of my life. I wish those years had chronicled a more interesting development of character.

I'm ranting, though. I need to unwind. There's nothing quite like black text on a white background, free of visual gimmickry, to calm the mind. Let me breathe a while.